THE WALL

so here’s the deal, i have a boyfriend we’ve been together for almost 3 years in june so it’s been 2 1/2 years. It’s not that i don’t love him but i need someone to talk to about his. But in 2007 i met this guy we’ll say his name was kc. we’d fight a lot, sometime nothing major it would be over something like hiding his possessions. He never really knew why i did it, sometimes to get his attention other times because i just wanted to have a little fun. it wasn’t till we had a big fight that i began to realize that i loved him. im a stubborn person most of the time i dont like to admit things. after about 4 years i started talking to him again, knowing hes married. we’ve said some things but there’s nobody like him. as i said it’s not like i don’t love who im with his names ken, i love him with everything in me. but i sometimes don’t know where or what i should do. i can very firmly about kc even though we have not been together since sept.2007 that the love i thought would go away hasn’t i can’t make him choose, it wouldn’t be fair but he also cant make me. it’s like something that haunts you because you’ve done the wrong thing well, he haunts my dreams, when i dream i have dreams about him, about other people too. i think one of my biggest fears why i dont say everything that i want to like how i didnt want to leave or i dont always say what’s on my mind is because of how others will precieve it. i feel like no matter what i do i cant win.