Sunday, 12 April 2015

I Am A Whore Dressed As A Pastor's Daughter

Since my mom is the Pastor in our little Christian Church, she wants me to be everywhere in it. In the Music Ministry (where I am now a Worship Leader), in the Youth Ministry (I am the secretary of the Youth Ministry), and even the Main Church itself (she forced me to go to Bible School to be a Preacher at a very young age).

Now here's the catch - I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS. She always makes me do things I don't want to do. I always have to be holy when in church, the real me is crazy as fuck. I want to tell my mom that she can't be doing this to me. I just don't want to hurt her feelings and leave her.

I've had guys I had fun with before, but everytime I go to church - worshipping and preaching about the word of God, I KNOW IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT.

All of this made me feel worthless. I'm not worthy of God, at the same time, I'm not even true to myself.

No comments: